Decrease in Bear and Stierelli Populations

Riding the Stock Market's Crest: When the DAX Tops the Charts

In the cowboy-themed jamboree of the Frankfurt Stock Exchange, finance bros rock their slicked-back quiffs, their Patagonia vests a-jostling as they rally for a toast. "The DAX has smashed past 24,000 points!" a voice bellowed over the speakers, snowflakes of confetti peppering the air, a bull charging into the room.

But what was truly brewing at the Frankfurt Stock Exchange when the DAX hit a new peak? Well, let's dissect that, shall we? Fact is, the German Stock Index (DAX) is about as healthy as John McClane at a Christkindlmarket. It's up a whopping 20% since the start of the year. Comprised of the 40 big cats of the exchange, from A as in Airbus to Z as in Zalando.

Every stock market cycle bounces on an elastic band between a bull market ("Yay, it's going up!") and a bear market ("Oh no, we're crashing!"). Using simplicity as a compass, analysts chose two animals to represent this dance: the bull, neck arched toward the sky, horns reaching for the cosmos, and the bear, hunched over, eyes cast downward.

Currently, we're in a bull market. This takes off when the DAX ascends by at least 20% over a two-month period compared to a previous low. But just gazing at this leaping bull without a keen eye to its insides, we might as well be trance-dancing at a rave (a touch of the '90s for y'all).

Instead of erecting glittering marble statues of the bear and the bull in the courtyard of the Frankfurt Stock Exchange, we need to question the veracity of this spectacle, don our detective hats, and scrutinize the workings behind the scenes. Because the future may not be as rosy as the tunes and confetti suggest.

When the Stock Market Dances, the Unemployed Forsake their Jobs

Perhaps we should follow the lead of the TikTokian-Brainrot trendsetters. Last month, AI-generated art figures hijacked social media feeds. Who's snazzier? A sneaker-wearing shark (Tralero Tralala) or a cactus elephant (Lirilì Larilà)? Brainrot stands for brain drain, for tuning-out. The absurdist TikTok generation with their absurd AI animals pokes fun at the older generation, saying, "We've checked out."

We should replace the bull and the bear, too. Welcome to the scene, Baisse Baisse Bear, a beastie hybrid of half bear and half Excel spreadsheet, and the suavely sophisticated Stierelli Stierlam, a bull outfitted in leather shoes and a backpack full of continental cocaine.

Because Brainrot also means when the DAX keeps rising, companies pull in mountains of cash, and the job market remains unscathed — or so it seems. Because these stock exchanges have emancipated themselves from the real world.

This emancipation is largely due to the fact that DAX companies make the great majority of their revenue abroad. Almost 80%! This makes them less susceptible to the slow creeping German demand. And: Many corporations offshore their production to lower labor and energy costs.

And the German economy? Well, it's not exactly coasting. A few days ago, economic experts coughed and spat out their revised growth forecast for 2025, downgrading it from 0.4% to 0%. Yes, dear readers, we're still in stagnation. They also foresee unemployment rates skyrocketing to 6.2% by the end of the year.

Goodbye to Jobs, Hello to Tralero, Trala, Job Gone

Day by day, every week, around 10,000 jobs — many of them high-paying industrial ones — disappear from the German job market[1]. This is a result of the economic downturn, and the federal government needs to step up and take notice. If not, we're left with nothing but tralero, trala, job gone.

Sources:

https://www.ifo.de/en/demographics-and-aging/10-000-german-jobs-lost-per-day/1855
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-germany-g20/germans-seen-letting-government-run-big-twin-surpluses-for-3-years-idUSKBN1Z416H
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/germany-wants-weaken-rules-allow-lower-emissions-cars-2016-2617939/
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-02-12/germans-shrug-off-gloomy-forecasts-signal-boom-on-home-front

Investing in the stock market could prove rewarding as the DAX, the German Stock Index, is experiencing significant growth and has surpassed 24,000 points, indicating a bull market. However, it's crucial to delve deeper and understand the financial implications for the general public, such as potential job losses due to the emancipation of stock exchanges from the real world and the majority of DAX companies' revenues being generated abroad.

The seeming prosperity of the stock market, as suggested by the confetti and bull symbolism, may conceal the unemployed forsaking their jobs and the stagnant German economy. TheAbsurdist TikTok generation with their AI animals such as Tralero and Brainrot provide a sense of detachment from the traditional bull and bear market representation, highlighting the need for reevaluation and scrutiny of the stock market's inner workings.