United States Reaches Limit of Christmas Grinch-like Energy Levels
United States Reaches Limit of Christmas Grinch-like Energy Levels
With less than a week until Christmas, the jolliest time of year, the U.S. government is on the verge of shutting down indefinitely, causing havoc for thousands of federal employees and the countless people who rely on them, including keeping the airports running smoothly during peak holiday travel.
In this grim representation of contemporary America, Ebenezer Scrooge is no ordinary wealthy individual; he's the wealthiest person on Earth. And this Yuletide season, he's making life miserable for everyone – except for members of a far-right German party with ties to neo-Nazis – whom he has no issue with.
But the misery doesn't stop there. A series of winter storms threaten to disrupt your last-minute shopping trip to the mall, from which you forgot to buy the dog's pajamas for Christmas morning Instagram photos. Perhaps you could grab a latte to stay awake during your late-night wrapping session, only to remember that Starbucks' striker workers are on strike, leaving you torn about crossing the picket line. Now what? Maybe just brew some coffee at home with your new French press you ordered from Amazon... but wait!
There might be mysterious flying objects over New Jersey, and half of America is creating thirsty memes about an alleged assassin. Does this mean Party City is about to close down? Nope, just those pesky planes.
What in the world is going on?
Let's begin with the politics. As of Friday afternoon, the U.S. government is just a few hours away from shutting down if lawmakers cannot pass a funding bill by midnight. This predictable political standoff is yet another delightful aspect of American democracy, allowing one party to hold the country hostage over petty disagreements and grievances.
But this time around, the party hosting the country is not a politician – but rather Elon Musk, the CEO of the world's most valuable car manufacturer with a whopping $455 billion worth of assets. Musk reportedly sabotaged a bipartisan spending plan on Wednesday by whining on his social media platform, threatening to share the phone numbers of political leaders who support the deal and encouraging his followers to primary them if they do so.
The White House has attempted to downplay Musk's influence, with a spokesperson for the transition team telling The Hill:
"As soon as President Trump issued his official stance on the CR (continuing resolution), Republicans on Capitol Hill echoed his point of view. President Trump is the leader of the Republican Party. Full stop."
But, like, that doesn't really sound convincing when you have to say it out loud, now does it?
Anyway, it seems likely that a deal won't be reached in time. That means Musk, the CEO of the most valuable car company on the planet, is lobbying for government workers to stop getting paid for an undetermined period.
"I genuinely don't know what's going on," Maine Republican Sen. Susan Collins admitted on Thursday.
Welcome to the club, Suzy!
When the government shuts down, the consequences stretch far beyond the 2 million federal employees who work in the bureaucracy that Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, his guru of "government efficiency," find so annoying.
Each department has its specific shutdown protocol, with some jobs designated as "essential" – think air traffic controllers and law enforcement officers – who will continue working, while "nonessential" roles will stay home. Essential workers will eventually receive back pay, while nonessential employees will have to cope without income.
So there you have it, folks. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!
If we can put aside the current political turmoil for a moment – please, just imagine if we could – there are some things we can count on for a bit of comfort. The new Superman trailer looks promising. Friday's inflation rate came in better than expected, helping the stock market to rebound from a Thursday selloff. The invasive "murder hornet" in Washington State appears to have been eliminated, and we can finally hear Haley "Hawk Girl" Welch's side of the meme coin crash.
But let's be real – there's no escaping the fact that the atmosphere has a definite funk to it. The government is about to go on an extended holiday, and many of us will be traveling to unfamiliar places, dealing with ice, snow, and awkward family gatherings, only to open gifts we never wanted but will pretend to adore.
Stay safe, America. And remember – we're all in this together!
In this volatile political climate, businesses and corporations might choose to remain neutral or express their views, as Elon Musk did by influencing the government shutdown debate on his social media platform.
During the U.S. government shutdown, various businesses could be impacted, such as Starbucks with their striking workers, or Party City, as people may postpone their holiday parties and celebrations due to uncertain circumstances.